One of the most painful aspects of being an Alienated Parent is the false accusations either from the other parent and/or one’s children. Often these false accusations include:
- Being addicted to drugs
- Being abusive to the children and spouse. This could be physical or sexual abuse
- Saying you hated your children
- Abandoning your children
- Parroting what “other people” have said. (Usually the alienator’s friends and family, so actually coming initially from the alienator.)
And so it goes on and on. The people accusing the Alienated Parent can be neighbors, school parents, teachers, the alienator’s family and former friends who believe the alienator. The Alienated Parent is already shocked to their very soul and struggling to maintain some relationship with children, young or adult. The false accusations are impossible to counter. Do people listen when you tell them “I am not a drug addict; I did not abuse my child”. The dye is set. They are convinced you are guilty as charged. After all, children would not lie about that, would they??
The most difficult of all these accusations to defend against is sexual abuse. I have been involved in two cases where the alienated parent was accused of sexually abusing their child. There was information available that would clear the targeted parent should it come to that. Obviously the child is coached in verbalizing “what happened”. When I was being trained as a therapist, we were taught that a) children don’t lie and b) they would not know about sexual abuse if they have not experienced it. WRONG on both counts. Anyone who has children knows children do lie and can do it as soon as they start talking! Children can be brainwashed into believing they were abused and their parents were aware of it. One young girl insisted she had been raped once the foster mother and DCPS worker got through with her. However, there were no findings to say she’d been raped. Abused sexually yes, and not by the targeted parent. They also insisted the targeted parent had known all about it when we know pedophiles are capable of hiding their every move.
Because I have been an expert in both Parent Alienation and Sexual Abuse, I can help in the court if you find yourself in this position.